People often ask me what giving a spanking is like for me. Different tops have different experiences, and I'm only learning now just how different they can be.
When I am spanking I am turned on in a quiet way, but I'm not very excited. This may seem odd, since I find the idea of giving a spanking to be very stimulating, but it's the truth.
Now, there are times when I can just relax and enjoy the eroticism of it all; but that's almost always when I am giving a mild-to-moderate spanking, perhaps with her pleasure as the main goal. That's not when I'm spanking hard.
When I'm giving a punishment spanking, it's a different story. I am concentrating, hard. The easy part is just keeping an eye on her skin. Welting and bruising are fine, for most women, but I want to avoid breaking or tearing the skin. But the bigger challenge is just how hard and how long to spank. I want to spank hard enough to get her the experience she yearns for, but not to give her more than she wants and needs. When she is begging "No more, please!" does that mean I should think about ending it? Or is she just getting into the space she has always wanted to experience? If she goes limp and starts sobbing, does that mean it's time to finish the spanking, or should I spank even harder in hopes of perking her up again? There are no easy answers to these questions, the stakes are high, and I devote far too much attention to the process to be able to relax and get off on it. Don't get me wrong--I am not just doing this for her. I am doing it for me, as well; but much of my pleasure comes afterward, when I remember how I punished her, or when she tells me that it hurt abominably and that she wants to come back so I can do it again.
My experience is not universal. Consider steph -- this note suggests that she enjoys punishing me:
When i am hurting you.... the feeling of control, the mental release of endorphins when you cry to me to stop, when you are in pain.... the physical sensations in my sex when I hurt you Doc..... that is all pure ecstasy, pure, naked, ecstasy.