Ladies and gentlemen, I suspect that the reason you've read my diary is because you would like to find spanking partners yourselves. I want to encourage you to take a deep breath and start your own search. If I can do it, then so can you. I'm not a beautiful young thing jet setting around the globe with access to thousands of men fighting each other for the privilege of making my acquaintance. I'm a short pudgy grandmother from the middle of nowhere, okay just up the road from the middle of nowhere, whose head-turning days are in the past. I'm just an ordinary person like everyone else. In spite of that, I managed to find a great guy who enjoys spanking me. It's possible, folks, but you have to make an effort. That spanking partner, male or female, isn't going to fall from the sky, paddle in hand. You have to make it happen.
Doc has some great tips for finding a spanking partner here on the website. Practical, common sense advice. He can't guarantee you success, but if you follow his advice you'll have a fighting chance. I didn't do anything unique. I just followed Doc's advice. It works. I now have a burning red posterior regularly instead of just dreaming about one. One reason I'm so pleased to have undertaken this project is because it proves that if you have a plan and then follow it, you can be successful. And I want all of you to be successful. I lived with frustration for too many years not to feel for anyone else who is in the same boat.
Please don't shoot yourself in the foot by setting standards impossible to meet. Don't make your search so narrow or your specifications so precise that you eliminate all of the possibilities. Many things in a person's profile can be negotiated. You may need to compromise here and there. As to appearance, ladies, you may need to overlook a pot belly or a bald spot. Guys, you may find breasts a bit droopy with age or a tummy that sags from childbirth. The point is to find someone who likes to spank or be spanked. And whereas there are lots of us, it isn't always easy to make the connection. So the fact that you are communicating with someone who shares the kink is fantastic. If the spanking is good, you may find you don't care about the other things at all. Be honest with yourself about what you really want, about what is negotiable and what isn't.
We have to recognize that there are many levels of bdsm. Be sure you state clearly what sort of play you want and what sort you don't want. For example, I automatically eliminated anyone who said he was looking for a slave or for a submissive to train or used the word torture. I don't want to be pierced, clamped, pinched, weighted, cut, burned, branded, hogtied, suspended, gagged, fisted, urinated on, etc. I just want to be spanked with a little light bondage thrown in. When it comes to safety issues, make it very clear what you consider to be over the line. If after doing this, you sense that your wishes are being ignored, use the safe word immediately and get the hell out of Dodge.
I was amazingly lucky to find Colonel as quickly as I did. That might not happen for you. So please be patient and don't give up if you don't find a suitable match within a few weeks. New members arrive daily on the personals sites. The perfect person for you could be filling out a membership application right now.
If the first spanking is less then perfect, then don't give up on your partner. It will take a while to learn how to read one another. There is bound to be some nervousness for both parties at first. Also, few of us are mind readers. Talk to your partner in the early days of the relationship and discuss things that are unsatisfactory and interfering with your enjoyment of the experience. I have learned that Colonel is only too happy to give me the experience I desire, but I have to let him know what that is.