Write me at Doc.Tsai@gmail.com.
This site is full of advice for you. If I were going to crystallize it into a single thought, make it your goal that after the first spanking your sub says “I want to do this again!”
OK, the big day is coming and you are going to get spanked. Congratulations!
New spankees often have some very personal concerns. If your butt is going to be sticking up in the air in the near future, read on . . .
Should you tell the top when it hurts? Should you wriggle, or try to hold as still as you can? This is something that you and the top might want to talk about ahead of time; but if you don’t know what your particular top wants, you should know that most tops want to know what the sub is experiencing; that’s much of the magic of the event. Don’t hold back.
If you feel like squirming, go ahead and squirm. Remember how often spankings fiction describes the spankee writhing? We all love that physical response to the punishment. Here’s your chance: writhe away!
If the spanking is painful, say so, your top will probably be thrilled! You should have a safeword so you should be free to beg the top to stop without being petrified that the spanking will actually come to a screeching halt.
And if the spanking is not hard enough? There are innumerable stratagems for amping up the intensity. You can say “harder please,” you can snicker, you can tie the top’s shoelaces together. Use your creativity.
That's right, your asshole. It's part of the spanking experience.
The asshole is surely the most fascinating square inch of real estate on the human body. Home of more nerve cells per square inch than ANY other location, including the surface of the eye.
I can’t imagine a spanko who doesn't have a heightened relationship, of some kind, with the asshole. Buttocks without the asshole . . . bread without butter.
Everyone cares about assholes. I recently chatted with a medical student about her specialty plans. Said she, “I’m going to be a surgeon. And I know I’m going to be fine with it, I am not at all afraid of the anus.” I thought it was a great line, and a lot of truth to it, too, as when you have major anal problems the surgeons are the ones that go in and fix them.
When patients get all embarrassed about having me inspect and probe their anuses, I often say, “God gave us the anus to keep us humble, and Her plan works well.” That confuses them enough to get their minds off what I'm doing, at least for a moment.
I don’t need to add that with all those nerve endings, which seem to be connected to nerves elsewhere and the erotic power centers in our brains, the asshole has other uses.
If you are going to be spanked bare bottom, your top will be able to see your asshole. If your top wants to feast his or her eyes on your asshole, you’ll likely be positioned so that this puckered orifice is on display. If your top is not an asshole admirer, you’ll likely be placed in a position that is more respecting of your modesty.
All you can do is make sure that you are clean down there. Many subs dart into the bathroom for a quick wipe with a disposable towelette just before their spankings; it’s comforting to know that when your underwear is lowered some random bodily deposit won’t be the first thing that comes into view.
But you’re not likely to have much say in whether or not your asshole itself is exposed. You can only accept or, if you can, enjoy the exposure.
There is also the chance that your top may want to punish your asshole, or that you may want it to be punished. I discuss this interesting variation on the spanking theme in The Most Intimate Punishment.
Most subs are terrified of cutting a big fart while being spanked. Honestly, it's not such a big deal, but I don't blame you for worrying about it.
Here are a few tips:
• Farting is not usually as much of a problem as subs fear. This may be
because the adrenalin of the spanking slows down the digestive process
• Avoid food that makes you fart (who knew?)
• If you’re worried about farting, encourage your top to spank you in a well
ventilated place or say you get overheated easily and ask to turn on a fan
• If the urge to fart comes on during a spanking, you can try to let loose each
fart as it comes along in the hope that each will be small enough to escape the
top’s notice
• Alternatively, you can accumulate the little farts inside until the urge
becomes irresistible. At this point you can
o Ask for a glass of water
o Say you need to pee
o Ask the top to check your parking meter or cell phone or the lock on the door
. . . and then cut loose as soon as your top leaves the room.
Spankings are like sex—sweat is part of the game—your top will probably be working up a sweat spanking you and may want to see you sweating. Don’t worry about it.
If your pussy gets wet before or during a spanking your top will probably be delighted. Some women feel that they get too wet when they are excited, or when they climax. They feel self-conscious, they feel embarrassed . . .
Here I must admit that I know nothing about how other men feel about women who get very wet, or who gush, or spurt, or ejaculate, or flood, when they climax. I can speak only for myself. But (speaking for myself) I am thrilled when a woman has an intense climax, and if things get really wet down there, so much the better! I have no idea if my affinity for women who get very wet is because I'm a doctor, because I'm a pervert, or something else. But I am sure I'm not speaking just for myself when I say that if you make a huge wet spot on my pants leg, I will resist, with difficulty, the temptation to frame it instead of sending it off to the cleaners. And it will make my day.
Most people who spank men relish the control they can exert over the male’s reproductive apparatus. An erect penis is fun to play with.
For an over-the-knee spanking, the top may place the sub’s penis between her thighs, where she can give it a squeeze whenever she feels like it. To enhance this experience, she can put a dab of lubricant between her thighs so that her sub is fucking her thighs while she paddles his buns; this can be very erotic for both partners. It’s possible for the sub to be literally fucking her while she spanks him if they are flexible and their bodies have the right proportions. Neither the fucking nor the spanking will be as letter perfect as if you were concentrating on it, but the combination can be very exciting.
Erotic spankings produce erections. Punishment spankings eliminate them. Amy, my first top, used to spank me sensuously until I got erect, then spank me hard until the erection wilted. Then she would repeat the process.
Did I mention that spankings are fun?