There remains the question of whether spanking is a sickness, notwithstanding the discussion above. This has two components:
1) is spanking itself sick? and
2) are spanking desires (or actions) a form of sexual addiction?
I discuss the second question on a later page, at Sexual Addiction. Here I answer the first question.
Most if not all of us had years of thinking there was something wrong with us; many of us still have lapses into that way of thought.
By way of theoretical introduction, different cultures define “sickness” differently (both informally and formally); for instance, Chinese psychiatrists are just now changing their official opinion and no longer diagnose homosexuality as an illness. It’s entirely to be expected that different people even within the same culture might view the same behavior or desires differently (one person seeing them as sick, the other as not sick). The medical anthropologists talk about this a lot. See Tristram Engelhardt, Jr.'s Foundations of Bioethics (1996) for one of the best descriptions of this phenomenon (he's a medical ethicist, not an anthropologist, but he draws on anthropological research in his discussion).
Now, on to spanking as a sickness. Within the context of sexuality, I would define “sickness” as conduct that jeopardizes the welfare of others or that substantially reduces your own ability to function. So, for instance, pedophilia, when acted out, is sick, it hurts kids. Similarly, sexual desires that keep you from attaining your potential, whether that is as a student or employee or wife or mother, are harmful. Notice that the behavior is not judged on the basis of what it is, or on the basis of some expert’s informed opinion (even the experts have genitals and hormones), but on who you are and how you live apart from being a lover of spankings.
I should add, there is a line of thought that sexuality is perverted if it focuses on something other than intercourse, but that it’s OK to have some spanking play thrown in so long as it doesn’t (depending on the author) take away from the Main Event, or completely replace the Main Event. I disagree. Because if all you really care about is spanking, and you don’t want other sexuality, if you are holding down a good job and successfully achieving and maintaining intimate personal relationships, then in my opinion your desires and behavior are not sick.
Question: what treatment is available?
You will always be a spanko, and that will never change. You can view that as a gift, as better than some of the alternatives (there are some sexualities that are very destructive), or as just who you are.
In my opinion, not only will no treatment change your desires, I doubt very much that it will help you understand how you got that way either. Working with a psychologist, psychiatrist, or other counselor may help you learn how better to integrate your spanko sexuality into your life as a whole if that’s a problem for you. Some counselors can’t cope with spankos, others have no problem (and still others are spankos themselves, of course!). If you end up looking for counseling find someone with whom you have good chemistry.
The most effective way of helping you come to terms with your sexuality and learn how to celebrate it (as well as cope with some of the complications and interpersonal perplexities involved) is actually to remain a part of this newsgroup and help it be a place that helps lurkers, reaches out to newbies and provides all of us with a welcoming, safe harbor. It is unfortunate but true that there are posters whose main purpose seems to be to hurt us and to discourage newbies. We can’t change that, but we can add positive voices to the chorus. This newsgroup has tremendous potential for good.
Question: How can I know that wanting to be spanked really hard, wanting to feel such pain, isn’t bad?
My first response is to refer to what I said above . . . if it doesn’t keep you from working or otherwise contributing to society, if it doesn’t keep you from being a loving person, it doesn’t matter if you attain sexual fulfillment through having your rear end blistered or from having a man insert his organ in your organ and you both wiggling around for a while. Tell me why one is more right than the other, or more dignified for that matter (neither one is dignified, but it doesn’t matter).
My second response is to say simply that I want to give long, hard spankings. I love to see my spankee writhe over my lap, watch her bottom turn red under my blows, hear her beg me to stop and howl with pain. So just as you desire to be spanked, I desire to spank. Surely this symmetry of our desires is a powerful affirmation. It just feels right.