Here I post a thread (a series of messages) from one of the spanking newsgroups about what it means to love spanking.
I've changed the names and e-mail addresses because I don't have the writers' permission to identify these thoughts as being theirs. Some of these e-mails are from other newsgroup members to each other, some from me to them and to the newsgroup in general.
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S started it with this question:
Subject: Why Spanking? Why Me?
Date: 3/10/01 1:03 AM Central Standard Time
Message-id: <20010310020337.886$l7@newsreader.com>Sometimes, just sometimes, I get all these doubts in my head, like maybe I
am a sicko, maybe I should get treatment for this. Why do I want to be
spanked, hard, why do I need the pain, why do I love the pain? Doesn't
that defy the meaning of pain. If I love pain, is it pain?Sometimes I hate being spanked but the way it makes me feel afterward,
safe, protected, cared for...that is so good, so good but I keep this a
dark secret, I can't tell my friends (with rare exception) how I love it,
how it makes me feel so alive.What is right? What is wrong? Why do I blush when I hear the word "spank"
spoken aloud? Is it because I am afraid my guilty secret will be exposed?
Sometimes I am fine with being spanked and other times, I think something
is wrong with me. Do other people feel this way...S
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I answered S in the words I use above; I'm not repeating them here. Poster "I" continued the conversation as follows:=============================================================
Subject: Re: Why Spanking? Why Me?
From: IDate: 3/10/01 8:37 AM Central Standard Time
Message-id: <20010310093714.29061.00000392@ng-cc1.aol.com>Dear S,
I guess my feelings about spanking, like yours, have been influenced by the
people around me. Once, when I was a child and trying to enlist some friends
into a spanking game, a girl said to me very scornfully, "All you ever think
about is being whipped!" And in college, there was a guy I thought was cute,
but he had no interest in me. It got back to me through a mutual friend that he
said I "looked like I was into S & M." Since I didn't go around dressed in
black leather and sporting a whip, I didn't understand that one, and it made me
feel very vulnerable, as if my kink showed on my face.I did have an underlying concern about my spanking interest, years back. I
would read the personals in various newspapers and become quite aroused reading
the spanking personals. However I never once tried answering one. Even though I
knew I liked spanking and was a nice enough person, I was a bit afraid of what
other spankos might be like. In the back of my mind was the scary stereotype of
the drooling pervert that society portrays us to be.I can't even express how much the internet and especially this newsgroup has
helped me to see that that stereotype is dead wrong, and that most of my fellow
spankos are the nicest, smartest, most fun people I would ever want to meet.
{{{{{{{Spankos}}}}}} a group hug for us all!I will say this: I have been in therapy twice and never mentioned my interest
in spanking to either of the therapists. The reason was, it had absolutely
nothing to do with the difficulties in my life at those times. In fact, it has
never caused any kind of ongoing difficulty in my life, didn't stop me from
getting my degree, finding jobs, having friends, getting married and raising a
child. I agree with Doc Tsai, if it is not interfering with your ability to
function and to enjoy your life, it isn't a problem.I also think that there's as much chance of being changed to vanilla through
"treatment" as there is of turning a gay person straight.Wishing you joy!
I
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Subject: Re: Why Spanking? Why Me?
From: RDate: 3/10/01 10:16 AM Central Standard Time
Message-id: <20010310111614.06464.00000645@ng-mp1.aol.com>It's not a bad thing to realize you "need" something and to think about what it
is in your nature or background that created the need.I think for a lot of people, they're acting out something or creating something
they missed in childhood. Some people feel "kink as therapy" is harmful, but
if you're aware of it, then I think it can be a good outlet to get something
you need.Yeah, it is a little weird. It's a little dark. It's a little twisted. So
what? Those are the things that make people complex and interesting. Bland,
perennially happy people with no quirks are kinda dull. They tend to sing a
lot and get on my nerves.Your introspection is healthy. So is acceptance.
Peace,
R=============================================================
Subj: Re: Why Spanking? Why Me?
Date: 3/10/01 6:11:25 PM Central Standard Time
From: MS asks some thoughtful questions:
>Sometimes,just sometimes, I get all these doubts in my head, like maybe I
>am a sicko, maybe I should get treatment for this. Why do I want to be
>spanked, hard, why do I need the pain, why do I love the pain? Doesn't
>that defy the meaning of pain. If I love pain, is it pain?
>Well, yes, it is pain, even if you love it. But the pain takes us somewhere we
need to go, don't you think? (And from reading SSS these past 3 years, I
realize it isn't the same exact place for all of us.) And let's face it, we
don't love ALL pain. I curse just like anyone else when I stub my toe or cut
my finger, I certainly don't love it. And hopefully, someone stern is around
to spank me for cursing! Spank me so hard and for so long that the pain in my
poor little toe pales by comparison... :-)>Sometimes I hate being spanked but the way it makes me feel afterward,
>safe, protected, cared for...that is so good, so good but I keep this a
>dark secret, I can't tell my friends (with rare exception) how I love it,
>how it makes me feel so alive.
>Very good point, S. I have friends who know I like to be spanked, but if
they ask why, I tend to oversimplify and express it in terms they can identify
with. I like to be spanked, I answer, because the sex afterwards is so hot.
Which is true, of course, on one level, but it is so much more than that. I
don't even to attempt to explain it to them, because it would reveal far more
of myself than I might want to reveal.>What is right? What is wrong? Why do I blush when I hear the word "spank"
>spoken aloud? Is it because I am afraid my guilty secret will be exposed?For the same reason I couldn't watch "McClintock" or the spanking episodes of I
Love Lucy when I was a kid if anyone else were in the room. Everyone else
would laugh and my face would just be burning with desire and arousal and
embarrassment.I loved watching them alone, however, so I could give them the rapt attention
they truly deserved!>Sometimes I am fine with being spanked and other times, I think something
>is wrong with me. Do other people feel this way...I used to feel that way, S, but I don't anymore. Loving to be spanked
doesn't interfere with my life, it enriches it. Being deprived of something I
needed for so many years was frustrating and silly, really, when all I had to
do was ask. Oh, I still have those wild, elaborate spanking fantasies that I
may or may not ever have fulfilled, but I have lots of OTHER fantasies that
have nothing to do with spanking or sex, and I am working on those, too.M
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Subject: Re: Why Spanking? Why Me?
From: SDate: 3/11/01 12:11 PM Central Standard Time
Message-id: <20010311131142.637$0r@newsreader.com>> Well, yes, it is pain, even if you love it. But the pain takes us
> somewhere we need to go, don't you think? (And from reading SSS these
> past 3 years, I realize it isn't the same exact place for all of us.)
> And let's face it, we don't love ALL pain. I curse just like anyone else
> when I stub my toe or cut my finger, I certainly don't love it. And
> hopefully, someone stern is around to spank me for cursing! Spank me so
> hard and for so long that the pain in my poor little toe pales by
> comparison... :-)
>
This is a good point, I broke my toe and it was not the same as a spanking
LOL!> Very good point, S. I have friends who know I like to be spanked,
> but if they ask why, I tend to oversimplify and express it in terms they
> can identify with. I like to be spanked, I answer, because the sex
> afterwards is so hot. Which is true, of course, on one level, but it is
> so much more than that. I don't even to attempt to explain it to them,
> because it would reveal far more of myself than I might want to reveal.Yes, this is it too. The one friend that I tell thinks it is just my kinky
way of having sex but it is more than that and that is the part I can't
share because the words would not really be able to express the feelings
or, as you stated, I would reveal more about myself than I want.> >What is right? What is wrong? Why do I blush when I hear the word
> >"spank" spoken aloud? Is it because I am afraid my guilty secret will
> >be exposed?
>
> For the same reason I couldn't watch "McClintock" or the spanking
> episodes of I Love Lucy when I was a kid if anyone else were in the room.
> Everyone else would laugh and my face would just be burning with desire
> and arousal and embarrassment.
>
Yes I agree on this one too. I would be afraid that everyone would know
and laugh at me.Thank you for your thoughtful reply. I am going to be fine really, It is
just every once in a while I think about it. I wonder how many people
never acknowledge there hidden desires, in truth, I am very lucky!S
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