My good friend Harriet sent these thoughtful comments about the galleries:
Awhile ago, I was looking at the gallery section, and I decided to wait and see if my response to it changed over time before I commented. This isn't meant as criticism or as YKINOK.
[“YKINOK” stands for “Your kink is not OK.” Harriett feels just fine about spanking itself. She continues . . . ]
I'm genuinely curious in our obviously different takes on the images. I found some of them annoying, especially the bar pics, and I think I have figured finally out why. Spanking and BDSM are the arenas where I make deep emotional connections. In the pics, I see (possibly drunken) kids/very young adults having spanking fun. And I'm glad they're enjoying themselves. But part of me feels like they're trivializing something that means a lot to me, that they are vanillas who don't get it and are almost unknowingly making fun of what matters very much to me. And part of me thinks some of them look a little less than safe.
I found a few of the pics erotically charged, but honestly, very few. I'm probably taking it too seriously. What is it about them that appeals to you so much? If you have a minute to reply, I'm curious. As I said, my query is meant to start conversation, but I realize maybe I'm just asking the equivalent of "Why do you like mint chip instead of Cherry Garcia?"
--Harriett
These are excellent thoughts and questions. I’ll offer my responses and invite readers to do likewise.
I wouldn’t post photos that I interpret as mocking our favorite kink. Yes, spanking is often portrayed in these photographs in a light hearted or even humorous way, but I have no problem with that. Some of these young people are experimenting with spanking, as they do with other forms of sexuality. That’s normal and usually healthy. Young people are more knowledgeable and understanding than ever about many forms of sexuality. If they bring a South Park irreverence as well, I’m fine with that.
I’m sure some of these young people are already spankos, fully aware of the erotic power of spanking. Others are latent, not yet conscious of their more-than-ordinary interest in spanking, and are going to develop into spankos down the road. These pix are a chance for me to look back in the time machine to see what it was like when tomorrow’s spankos were still exploring and experimenting. I enjoy that.
I try hard not to post photos of anyone under 18, and I will immediately remove any photos where I’ve done so inadvertently. I would post appropriate photos of the over-40 crowd as well but so far they have not posted suitable photos for all the world to see!
A lot of these people are drunk, and some of the photos, like the body shots, focus on the drinking itself. The online photo directories contain ample evidence that too many of our young people drink too much. That is not a good thing.
In my comments in the galleries, I sometimes indicate approval of the spankings and sexual high jinks that are on display, but my misgivings about the alcohol consumption are reflected in the fact that I never applaud the drinking itself. On the other hand, I don’t condemn it; this isn’t the place to launch a war on excessive drinking.
People are going to imitate things they see in these galleries; it’s human nature. I do not post pictures of practices that I think are unsafe, and when there are safety issues that might not be obvious I try to point them out. If you think I am letting an unsafe practice go without comment, please let me know.
There is a cluster of concerns that Harriett didn’t raise but that are important. The gallery pix are heavily weighted toward physically attractive young females. Isn’t that sexist, an objectification of women, and part of our culture's idealization of the young female with a pretty face and perfect body? I don’t think it is sexist, although you may disagree, but it certainly fits with our culture’s misguided norms of physical beauty.
Part of me doesn't like that at all. I have never had a spanking partner who fit that stereotype of perfection, and the pleasure I've had in spanking had little or nothing to do with how nearly the women I know have met that cruel ideal. There is so much more to life than appearances, and I'd take brains over looks any day--and have!
Yet part of me says, if we're looking at photos, then by definition we are dealing only in appearances and brains are simply not relevant. There is something fundamental in our psyches that responds to physical beauty in others; that's true for both sexes, and for straight and gay alike.
So I can either fight that urge or give in. I've given in, so you should be on notice that all my galleries are visual playgrounds, not centers for reflection.
We come now to Harriett’s final question: “What is it about them that appeals to you so much?” Even though I often over-analyze things, here I don’t have an intellectual answer.
I find these pix sexy, funny, or occasionally thought-provoking, and it's no more complicated than that. Here, in the galleries, I simply let myself go.
Hi, Love the site especially the galleries. I like the bar pics maybe because I have always had a thing for public humiliation F/m. SO even though there is not a lot of respect for the spanking act going on I still think they are very hot and wish I lived closer to those bars, lol. I like your use of discretion in what you do
... thanks kent
Thanks for your compliment about discretion, kent. I appreciate that.
Your comment about "public humiliation F/m" is a wonderful example of how different people perceive and experience the world. I myself would love to be paddled by the hot chicks at the Salty Dog, but it wouldn't dawn on me to be humiliated. So instead of "different strokes for different folks," we have the same strokes, literally, but those strokes mean different things to different people.