Bad Boys

This is a funny essay by Mary Jo Rapini, a Houston therapist who writes about relationships . . . it certainly brings up themes that are familiar in the BDSM world!

Of course, none of the five essential "bad boy" behaviors that she lists are actually bad . . . but clever writers come up with catchy names for their columns!

--Doc

Burt is like many of my patients. He was burned by a woman who later began dating a “bad boy”. Burt told me in more then one counseling session, “I don’t get it…I cleaned the house, took out the trash and treated her like a queen.  How could she do this to me?” I knew part of Burt’s problems was he scored three of the top behaviors women find annoying. I gave this list to Burt just as I am giving it to you.

Top 7 Annoying Behaviors Women Love to Hate:

1.       Women hate it when a man gives her the power to be the boss. In other words, when we ask you what you want to do don’t say “whatever you want to do”.

2.       We hate it if you tell us you love us on the first or second date (we think you are hard up or have no self respect).

3.       We hate it if you act submissive and weak (we have a fantasy that you are going to protect us).

4.       Don’t put away your own needs and become a door mat for us. We won’t respect you and most likely we will take advantage of you.

5.       We hate us if you call or text too much. We begin to feel like you need us too much and we are aware that means you fall very quickly.

6.       We hate it if you let us lead all the time. Put up a fight and demand once in awhile.

7.       We find it annoying if you can never take a stance in a discussion. If you see both sides of both issues all the time you better be making a lot of money as a politician or a lawyer.

                    The girl that dumped Burt ended up getting dumped by her “bad boy friend” and she started dating Burt again (because every woman learns quickly that the bad boys also are very selfish which is one of the behaviors good guys want to avoid). Burt was new and improved the next time around. How did that happen? Burt began looking at the list of annoying behaviors and replacing them with bad boy behaviors that can add to his good guy qualities. Burt never became a “bad boy” he just got smart with the successful behaviors of a “bad boy”.

Top 5 Successful Bad Boy Behaviors:

1.       Bad Boys are confident. They need confidence to pull of the stunts they do. However, any man can be confident with practice. Women cannot resist a confident man. It makes us feel secure.

2.       Bad Boys don’t care what others think. They beat to their own drum. Any guy can learn to judge himself and others less. Women like this because it makes us think you will be challenging or interesting. We want to try and understand you.

3.       Bad Boys try new things. They are adventurous and take risks. If you want to learn this without being a bad boy sign up for classes—white water rafting, rock climbing, tango lessons. Learn something new. Women love this because we can talk to our friends about how wild and adventurous you are. We like doing new things too!

4.       Bad boys are very masculine. They are usually rugged and in-control. This is not the same as controlling, they are self controlled. Women see this as a sign of masculinity. You can learn this by practicing being your own person. Believe it what you do and who you are and others will see you live your talk. Women view this as being strong.

5.       Bad Boys are passionate about their interests and this gives women the power to be passionate about their own interests too. Bad boys aren’t controlling because they don’t want to control anyone but themselves. You can begin to act this way by not nagging your wife or girlfriend. Let her take care of her body, needs, and desires as you take care of yours. Women see this as being free even though they are in a committed relationship with you.

Want a woman to love you and respect you? Begin behaving like a “bad boy” while maintaining your “nice guy” image. Every woman (unless she has grown up with abuse) wants to be treated with respect and loved for being herself.

For more information go to:      www.maryjorapini.com