Hello Doc,
My name is Mandy, and I have spent the past few hours exploring your website and listening to your audio files. I'm feeling very content at this moment because some of your audio files have touched a very deep need and desire within me. Let me give you some background information on me first, to help you understand me.
I'm a 36 yr old, married, mother of 2 preteens. I was born with a submissive's heart, but due to circumstances in my life and my upbringing, I have a very, very strong will and alpha personality. In other words, I am a pure sweetheart with a short tempered, bitchy side. I'm OCD and a major control freak; I especially do NOT accept failure from myself. I'm much more lenient and forgiving with everyone else. Along with all of those things, I have a strong spanking fetish, well other people call it fetish; I prefer to call it a need, a part of who I am.
My earliest remembrances of masturbation are from kindergarten, and I would think about spanking. Back in the day when paddling was still allowed in schools, I loved to hear a paddling from out in the hall and the subsequent wail from the victim. Those became my masturbation fantasies. Yes, I was paddled at home by my parents, but that was discipline and it hurt and I didn't like it. I was never abused by my parents; it was just good old fashioned discipline. So for whatever reason, my spanking fantasies weren't directly about me, but me being a voyeur to someone else's punishment. As I matured and became a teen and then a young adult, those fantasies did evolve into me being the punished one. I read smutty romance novels and preferred the historical themes because sometimes you'd find a good spanking scene in those stories, not just torrid sex. Yep, I got more excited from the spankings than the sex.
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