Satia has amazing insight into spanking and into the relationship that must exist for a spanking to be taken to the ultimate level. Consider these comments:
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My mind's eye can only think of being utterly controlled, taken, owned for a time regardless of my own will. . . . .All under the gaping, searing, blinding need for pain. The desire deeper than thought that needs vibrant agony. Spanking is the purity of this expression for me. . . .
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(to Doc)-- I get so thrilled and excited to know that you will truly get enjoyment from pushing me past my limits. . . . . That you have learned not to be afraid of causing this kind of pain... and therefore can attain that state of pleasure for yourself... this is perfect. Yes, please take me to the pain that is beyond endurance... and yes, please... keep me there!
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We work so hard to accept our true nature, only to spend the rest of our lives justifying our acceptance. We try so diligently to convince first ourselves, and then necessary others, of our personal needs and yearning for a moment that could be viewed as "sick,” “abuse,” “perverted.” I don't care. I don't care if it is viewed by those in my vanilla life as disgusting, while half of them would giggle in secret unsung desire behind covering hands.
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To read more, click on the links here. If you want to read all of the correspondence, it’s at Negotiations. To learn about my views on Satia's letters and how I decided to become her editor, see the "Guest Editor's Notes" below.
This section has something the original correspondence does not: Satia's own reflections, written nine months after Doc first spanked her, about what that visit and her spanking mean to her today: Satia Looks Back: The Culmination. Satia's journey is an inspiration to me, and I believe it will speak to you as well.
--Trish
Satia--A Woman's Perspective
On the very first evening of their correspondence, Satia wrote to Doc, “what has drawn me in so diligently” to the website is “your grasp of the female psyche.” This remark had a profound effect on me when I read it, not only because it caused me to stop and reflect about Doc’s website for a moment, but because it was precisely this quality in Satia’s writing that I had found so captivating. At once tender and tenacious, Satia writes with a voice that any woman could identify with, but also with a clarity and understanding that few are lucky enough to possess.
After spending a great deal of time with Satia’s letters as I edited the Negotiation correspondence, I have come to admire qualities that Satia has and that I am only beginning to develop – for one, her willingness to come to terms with her own fervent desire for pain, to analyze it, know it deeply and embrace it wholeheartedly. At the same time, Satia’s letters convey a sense of traditionally female propriety in sexual matters and self-consciousness about her body, her weight, her appearance – feelings all women will surely recognize. Yet Satia readily discusses these insecurities -- in correspondence with someone she has never met. I admire this too.
Perhaps, above all, I admire the fact that Satia does not try to talk herself out of her feelings. Instead, she gives them the full range of beautiful, often poetic, expression. For those women, and men as well, who are somewhere on the journey to a better understanding of themselves and their spanking sexuality, Satia’s voice is refreshingly candid -- humorous at times, haunting at others – but always insightful and guaranteed to move the reader further along the road of self-knowledge.
Doc Dubs Me Guest Editor
Doc and I had been e-mailing for some time, and I mentioned to him how much I enjoyed his correspondence with Satia, in which Satia and Doc first come to know one another, decide to meet, and set up the conditions -– both physical and psychological -- of their first spanking session. He responded that Satia's notes are full of keen perceptions of our lives and our desires, but that they are so voluminous and, relatively speaking, buried in the site, that few people find and appreciate them. Not long after, Doc suggested—not to my surprise—that I edit Satia's letters.
The notion of giving Satia's poignant insights and powerful imagery a special place on Doc's web site held real appeal for me. Satia's words had been of inestimable value to me in my own journy, and so I agreed. And thus my editing work began, poring over the Negotiation section that chronicles the burgeoning relationship between Satia and Doc over the course of one month's time.
Satia is an unbelievably graceful writer, and through her writings we come to know an equally graceful human being, and a courageous one, unafraid to express her vulnerabilities, sense of personal modesty and fears. At the same time, she has an undeniable intellect, a playful sense of humor, and an enviable wealth of knowledge about herself, her desires and her deep-seated yearning for, in her words, "delicious, glorious pain."
Two important themes emerge from the correspondence: the human dynamic, as revealed in the development of the relationship between Doc, as the agent of pain, and Satia, as its recipient; and Satia’s own devotion to pain as a type of nirvana. I have therefore selected correspondence that fits into these categories. The first, relating to Doc and Satia’s relationship, is entitled “Interplay – Empathy with a Twist,” and is the longer of the two, since it contains correspondence from both of them. The second section, “The Agony Beyond,” contains almost exclusively Satia’s writings and evokes in stirring detail her elusive quest for “urgent captivity,” “vibrant agony” – the utopia of pain.
--Trish