7/26/2009
Yes, you're right and I am frustrated. Let me tell you a little more about myself so you can help me better. I am half asian and half hispanic. I am 36 yrs old and I live in the Los Angeles area. I am 5'6" and a little on the heavy side. I have a professional job. I got divorced 7 yrs ago and I have no children. I haven't been in a relationship since my divorce. I've had my fun here and there, but I want to remain single because, other than the frustration with spanking, I am very happy with my life. In other words, I can't see myself being in a committed relationship ever again. I spend a fair amount of time with my friends and family.
I have had spanking fantasies for as long as I can remember. I was never spanked as a child but there was always this indescribable feeling that took over when I would hear about a spanking or even heard the word spoken out loud.
There are guys out there that I've come into contact with that would more than likely have the potential to spank me to orgasm. However, I know it would come with a price and with other ideas and hidden agendas.
But when my friend spanks me, it takes minimal effort on her part to get me aroused. The words alone get me excited. However, I wouldn't feel comfortable touching myself right then and there as I'm over her lap. She's happily married, and what if she thinks I am the one with other ideas? What if she thinks I want more?
7/26
OK, this is helpful.
I totally understand about being satisfied with your single life and respect that of course.
So what are your spanking options?
1) expand your relationship with your friend
2) find someone else to spank you
3) blog
In terms of (2), agreed that most guys who would spank you would expect sexual favors in return – let’s say a blow job at minimum, but usually more if it’s a regular thing. If I understand you correctly, this sexual quid pro quo is something you’re not willing to pay.
Would you consider finding a woman to spank you? That’s a real possibility.
Back to option (1), your friend. It all depends on the relationships among you and her and her husband – what they are now, and what you all want them to be. And there’s more than one way to approach the issue.
One approach is to talk about it directly. You can do this in a way that leads up to it in small steps so that if at any point she becomes uncomfortable or says “that’s not something I would consider” you can say, “no problem, our friendship is more important to me than doing any particular thing.”
You could say, for instance, “there’s something I’d like to talk about, about you spanking me, but I’m embarrassed to talk about it . . . I’m afraid you would be freaked out.” That lets her say, “Don’t be embarrassed,” opening the door wider, or “If it embarrasses you, then I don’t see any reason to bring it up” and close the door.
If she is OK with that statement, then you can just say, “It’s about the way I feel when you spank me.” See what she says to that. If she’s encouraging, the next statement is, “I feel turned on when you spank me.”
At this point, she’s very likely to say something about her own feelings. Perhaps that she knows how turned on you get (after all, she’s felt your wet panties). Perhaps to say how turned on SHE gets. Perhaps to say that she knows it can be exciting, but that you have to control yourself because her marriage is more important than anything else. But she could also say that her husband would be fine with you and her being more sexual.
OK, that’s the basics of approach #1.
Approach #2 is more indirect. You tell her you want to watch some of her spanking videos. If there’s a girl-spanks-girl video, well, that not only is an opening for conversation, but it also tips you off that F/F is something that turns her on (you know that already, of course!). If you’ve just watched a video of one girl spanking another, it will be easy to talk about whether the girls in the video seemed to be turned on, and you can say things like “I thought the brunette was really getting off.”
There remains the question of her husband. There is a chance that he would be jealous of any sexual activity between you and her, including you masturbating over her lap, or even cumming over her lap without masturbation – since I’m quite sure that if she set her mind to it, and you allowed yourself, she could spank you to orgasm without any direct pussy stimulation. But in any case, it’s possible her husband would be jealous if you and she became more sexual.
But it’s much more likely he would be all in favor of it. Her husband is male, right? . . . Many men love the idea of their wives being sexual with another girl, and their main demand is, they want to know all about it, or, preferably, to watch!
There’s one more possibility. . . (3), starting a spanking blog. You don’t have to BE spanked all the time to have a blog, you can just write your thoughts, and you can add other material of any kind that you like. Blogging isn’t for everyone, of course, but if you do blog, it serves as a standing personal advertisement and there is always the chance that someone just right will e-mail you and say that she would love to take you over her lap and MAKE you cum while she spanks you!
Doc, full of ideas