One day it dawned on me that J- could also spank me; I don’t know why I didn’t think of it before. Actually, it dawned on me one night—I was masturbating when I had this brilliant idea.
I had always found fantasies of being spanked arousing, but had never made any effort to turn them into reality. But I was going to visit someone who certainly could and probably would give me a platinum-grade spanking. The idea moved from “possible” to “I have to have this!” in moments. That little light bulb turned on.
I suggested that she spank me, and J- accepted immediately. Since I was a rank beginner, we agreed that she would spank me first, so that I could experience what it was like with an expert calling the shots; then we'd meet a few days later for me to spank her.
We went over the ground rules for both sessions (her spanking me, and me spanking her) with care. I had done some tentative spanking, years before, but I had never given or received a serious adult spanking. She had done both, many times. There are, of course, many types of spanking. In intensity they range from playful or erotic to pure punishment of varying degrees. For both J- and me, the punishment was the erotic core of our spanking desires. What would it be like for me in reality? I didn’t worry—I was confident I would love being spanked hard. This is, among other things, proof of my inexperience!
I told J- “I want a real punishment, without a safeword.” She demurred, but offered me the opportunity to experience that intensity—if and only if I had the fortitude:
I'm afraid I'll have to nix the no-safeword -- frankly, it puts *me* at too much risk (physically and legally) to try with a new partner. I'd suggest that we make an agreement that you won't use a safeword simply because it hurts too much -- use it only if you're becoming so enraged that I'm at risk, if you're regressing into a place that's too scary to be, or if you are physically ill. It's *supposed* to hurt too much.
Wow . . . the thought of not being able to stop the spanking just because it hurt too much was a major turn-on for me.
Then.
J- added that my request helped her better understand where I was coming from. Yes, I replied, my wish was for her to be in control when I was spanked, for her to spank me as hard and as long as she wished, to be taken beyond my limits. She said she understood and was looking forward to spanking me. This conversation was very exciting. The reality turned out to be something entirely different.