I am still amazed when I remember that memorable night. For the first part of the punishment, I was simply suffering. Somehow during the second part, the caning, I reached that mixture of pain and pleasure that is the masochist’s nirvana. And by the time the caning was over, I wanted, no, I needed more.
I stuck by my promise to myself not to safeword. I believe J- sensed much of what was happening with me—after all, she’s been through this with many other novices—and I am grateful that she continued the punishment even though I showed no sign whatsoever of enjoying it during the first part.
Thank you, J-.
I don’t begin to understand what happened. All I know is that since then I have sought that white hot combination of pain and pleasure. Sometimes it is elusive; sometimes what I find is more pain than pleasure; but I continue to search for it, and sometimes I succeed.
Everything since then has flowed from that experience. And yes, I did spank J- a few days later, but I’ll tell that story another day. For now, thank you for reading this through to the end.
I’ve always wondered what would have happened if we had stopped after stage 1. Would I ever have realized the joy that pain would bring? Or would I have decided that I really was NOT “made to be a masochist”?
I don’t know. But although it was challenging and painful, I’m very glad I persevered.
Glad that I came through, out of the tunnel of pain and into the light of joy.
The critical factor that made this encounter a success was J-’s tremendous experience.
And it didn’t hurt that I was determined to accept whatever she wanted to give me!
However over the top this punishment may sound, J-’s judgment at the time was that although she was pushing me, she was not going too far. This was a judgment call, and J- took a risk in making it; but she was right. And as you’ll see, twice she offered to stop, and twice I asked for more.
I recommend that you explore spanking one step at a time. And if you are contemplating throwing caution to the wind and arranging to submit to a no-holds-barred punishment as your first-ever experience, before you make firm plans, please write me at Doc.Tsai@gmail.com. Don’t let that “experienced Dom” persuade you that you should meet him to be tied up and paddled. Don’t do it!
I want you to explore spanking in a way that works for you, without taking chances. It’s better to be careful and take a little longer.