What a wonderful spanking! Here is my note of thanks to Sarah:
I have always yearned for a particular kind of spanking. On Tuesday you gave it to me. I'm very grateful.
I know that you enjoy spanking me. I remember your comments that you loved giving me this most recent spanking, how excited you were to spank me, to see my ass turn red. I know that this is not a purely philanthropic undertaking on your part, and I'm glad for that. Yet my satisfaction is so profound, my pleasure so intense, that I have to put aside your pleasure and speak for myself, as if all of this were pure selfless generosity. I said you gave me a "particular kind of spanking," and what I mean by that is an ideal or dream spanking.
My dream spanking includes these elements . . .
The right woman, someone I know and trust, someone who knows me and cares about me.
The right sort of pain. Of course I love your hand the most, but your hand can't deliver the intensity of pain I need. The Melissa paddle does a great job of giving me the right type and intensity of pain.
The right physical setup. With most of these elements there is more than one possible answer. I enjoy being over your lap more than being over the wedge, as I was on Tuesday. But I know that body contact between us during the spanking is fatal to your sexual self-control, and it's also physically more difficult to spank hard and long in the OTK position. So although the position wasn't my absolute favorite, the resulting spanking was nonetheless fabulous.
The right intensity of pain. You had asked me what changes I might like and I asked if you could spank both hard and fast. I needed it to hurt a great deal. That's the only way I know to get to the point where I am frantic.
The right duration. The frantic suffering needs to continue long enough to ripen. I needed to linger in it, even, in some strange way, to savor it.
It was good that you didn't feel the need to check in with me frequently, to ask, “Are you doing OK?”. It's better for me to not have to give you that reassurance. I know it's more difficult for you, that you feel out on a limb hurting me like this, and I appreciate that very much.
When I walked through Italy last June, remembering the spankings you'd given me at that point and looking forward to many more, I knew that there were many paths open to us, new realms of pain to explore.
I see a circle that includes all of the spanking activities we've enjoyed. Each individual spanking is contained within that circle, each combination of mood, implement, position, restraint, arousal, intensity and duration of punishment, and much more. Although I would not have missed any one for the world, some are closer to the center than others.
We have now found the center of the circle. The place where my dream spanking exists. I wasn't even certain that it existed, wasn't certain that I could be spanked so beautifully, just like in my dreams. I thought it was possible; that's why I kept encouraging you, asking you to come deeper with me. I wanted it to happen. But I didn't know for sure until you took me there.
It is at the center of the circle, and you might think that means that there is just one perfect spanking, one combination of all those elements that is perfect, and that anything else will be perhaps close but never quite as good. But that's not true at all.
The center is not a single point. It is a circle within a circle. The outer circle bounds all of our spankings. The inner circle includes only this one dream spanking, but as we draw nearer we see the inner circle expand. There is room for much more, for dream spankings with different implements, in different positions, restrained and unrestrained, at different tempos. Now that we have found one dream spanking we will find many more in limitless variation.
The common feature in them all will be my suffering. We know that my dream comes true when my suffering is of sufficient intensity and duration. There may be other patterns of suffering that will also work. We're going to learn much more about what different punishments provide for us both.
Thank you, Sarah.
Thank you for listening to what I wanted.
Thank you for daring to punish me beyond the bounds of reason.
Thank you for taking me to the inner circle.
Your Tsai