Cat's note continues--
The last few moments before the spanking began were the hardest. Getting set up on the bed, waiting for the ropes to be tied. Listening to hear where you were in the room. Knowing it was about to happen & wanting it, but dreading it at the same time.
And then it started.
The pain was so intense, so quickly. Every time you paused for a moment to change implements, it was like starting all over. I don't think there was any way I could have been prepared for that. I would come up for air & then be dragged back down into the pain in an instant. With every section of the spanking, I found myself lost in the pain. I had no sense of time or place. While you were spanking me it went on for years, but in between it seemed like it had only been in the blink of an eye. By the time you were done with me, I was very disoriented. It wasn't until I listened to the sound file of that night that I realized just how long of a spanking it was. I am at a loss as to how to describe the pain. It was all consuming. For those brief moments in time, that is all that there was. The pain. The pain and the desperation for it to stop. I have never before been in a situation where I have asked, let alone begged, for it to stop. Even now, as the memory of the sensations are fading a bit, the feeling of that almost panicked moment when I didn't know if it would ever stop is still very strong.
Listening to the sound file was an experience in itself. Who was that woman crying out in agony and then laughing? It was as if you had two different women tied to the bed that night. I do love to listen to it though. To hear that desperation in my voice still sends shivers up my spine. Remembering how much it hurt & how much I wanted to stop, & every time you did stop, being relieved & yet scared you wouldn't start back up. To say my emotions were conflicted is an understatement.
My experience with you was so much more than I imagined it could be. You gave me a wonderful gift Doc, and I thank you for that. You know, I said I couldn't have been prepared for the sudden intensity of the pain because I had never been there but the truth is I don't think it is something that you can ever be prepared for whether you have experienced it or not. I have a feeling that next time, & I sincerely hope there will be a next time, it will be just as much of a shock to my system. And I wouldn't have it any other way.
From the bottom of my heart, or should I say my very abused bottom, I thank you Doc. Even if we should never meet again, I will keep this treasured memory. You are everything & more than I could have ever hoped for.
Yours,
Cat