I'm back over your lap, completely bare now, and your fingers are in my pussy while you talk to me, preparing me for the pain you're about to give me... You've reminded me of my safewords, and even given me permission to tell you when it's hurting too much, although with no promise that you'll stop when I do : ) And we're at that mysteriously arousing dialogue again...
"Tell me that you're a bad girl." nnnnnn... I could no more say the words right now than I could jump over the moon -- but then, at that moment, in that state of mind, somehow they come out -- I am hearing myself talking on the recording and I have no idea how I was able to... "And what do bad girls need?" *writhe* for goodness sake... "And how do bad girls get spanked?" The words just roll off your tongue like they're nothing -- I'm envious -- it's making me writhe just to hear them, making me wetter and wetter...
You make me string it all together in one long sentence and I have to squeeze it out -- by the end I'm out of breath and I can't believe I've just said it...
"This is going to hurt you." Your voice is serious and I know you mean it -- I'm already so turned on that my inhibitions have lessened and an involuntary worried vocalization escapes me... "Beg me to hurt you..." I do, and when you ask me if it's in earnest, and not just because you asked me to, I have to think about it, and answer truthfully. "I think the idea is turning you on... Your pussy is a lot like a river..." Oh? This is a very interesting piece of information -- can your fingers feel the same surges that I feel? In any case you're right, it is turning me on -- but it's not the anticipation of the pain that's turning me on, it's that in order for you to hurt me, I have to submit to you... I have to trust you, and you have to trust me... It is arousing to me that you are confident enough in your ability to hurt me, and at the same time to keep me safe, to keep from going too far...
I am actually grateful that you take a moment to remove your sweater -- it helps to give me time to adjust to the idea of accepting the pain, and offers a more easily discernable beginning to the punishment...
When you tell me to spread my legs I know it's going to hurt more... It's worrying : )
The first time you ask how I'm doing it's already hurting quite a bit... So that 2 minutes in when you say "I'm going to have to give you a nice long spanking" I am already thinking -- owww it's long enough already! : ) I wonder if you can hear that in my voice, because you re-assure me with "You're going to do okay... It's okay to cry if you need to..." Hearing that from you does help.
By 3 minutes in it is really hurting and I'm trying with all my might to hold on... "A little harder," owwwww! By 4 minutes I'm highly distressed and my voice has risen in pitch... "A little faster," Now I'm actually starting to vocalize "Ow"s and I'm pretty sure I've started struggling a little by now, too... It just keeps hurting and hurting and building and building -- after 5 minutes I'm starting to lose myself and can do nothing but simply respond to the pain... After 6 minutes (around 9:37 in the recording) I start crying, and soon (9:55) I'm begging you to stop... After 7 minutes I start begging again... and by the time 8 minutes have passed all I can do is cry... "It's okay to cry... bad girls have to be spanked until they cry..." Hearing your voice helps... but before we get to 9 minutes I'm getting desperate and I'm already begging again... Listening to the recording again now I'm hearing myself issue some pretty high-pitched yells -- they would have been screams had I held them for longer... I needed a good reason to make that kind of racket :D You finally stop and with the immediate absence of the constant build-up of pain, my arousal slowly starts coming back...
In your arms afterwards you ask me what I thought -- whether it had been too long or too hard... And of course, if you'd asked me moments before, while you were raining pain down on me, I would have said it was too long and too hard and it hurt too much -- but immediately afterwards, it felt just right : )