“Second Contact”
There you were in the flesh! You were as tall as I had pictured based on the descriptions on your site, but the reality of your stature sank in when you approached. And when you said my name, I know I must have grinned like a giddy schoolgirl. That voice… that voice! As we hugged, my head rested on your sternum, and it felt nice.
You took my luggage, and opened your car door for me – the consideration of the chivalrous. I got in, waving at the helpful security guard; sure my nervousness was sending neon SOS flashes in her direction. She just smiled and waved back.
As we drove to your apartment, I could not form any intelligent thoughts. Despite my desire to impress you, my brain was frozen in place as though I had been prematurely cryogenically iced. Denial kept trying to take over, but your smiling eyes and soothing voice coaxed me from my internal shadows. You kept talking, asking me questions and reassuring me that you were glad I was actually there.
Your presence was sure, gentlemanly and kind. But would you be able to really hurt me as I hoped? Would my own nervousness make your sympathy and compassion stronger than your sadism?
It was out of my hands now, because I was there, in your car, engulfed by my own anxiety and thrills and simply overwhelmed, wanting to stare and study your face and your large hands,… but looking out my window instead.
We got to your apartment and you helped me with my luggage yet again. At the garage elevator, I said to you, “You know we broke the most basic safety precaution.”
You looked askance, eyebrows raised.
I smiled. “We didn’t meet in a public place first.”
But we both knew, we were far beyond that level of trust.
You greeted your apartment’s security guards and told me you had informed your building manager I would be staying there, and to let me in and out. That was when all remaining concerns for my safety were logically relieved.
You chatted with some neighbor woman at the elevator lobby before she ascended to her apartment, and then left me for a moment to pick up a package. When you came back, the way you handled the box, smiled and started to open it right there, I suspected its contents. Then you pulled out what was inside; a lotion and some latex underwear! You displayed them to me outright, with the security man just around the corner and the possibility of someone coming out of one of the elevators any second!
I’m sure I seemed unresponsive, but my mind was shouting, “Oh, gosh! Put that away before someone sees it!” I wonder if I smiled.
You flashed a grin, and then became matter-of-fact and unflappable. Mr. Unflappable.
By the time we got to your apartment door, I wanted to get inside quickly, but hesitated before crossing your threshold. Would you transform from Doc Tsai to Mr. Hyde once I was there in your grasp? In we went.