Satia:
When you ended, when you came beside me again and said the word, "Unfortunately...." I knew. It was over. My insides were tremorous and weak beyond belief. And the pain echoed, along with the sounds of the implements in their whipping, crashing, cracking strikes, echoing in my ears.
The first thing I felt was relief.
The next, I worried for you. I don't remember if I said it or not, but I immediately wanted to know if you were satisfied. I wanted to know that you had enjoyed it. I wanted to make sure your sadism was fulfilled, even if only a bit.
I was not disappointed that it was ending -- no, not in the least!! No, I was deeply grateful it was over. But I was imagining in my mind that you had expected a longer punishment... and the thought emerged that you would not consider it an "extreme" spanking after all. After all of the build-up, excitement, anticipation, and all the hard work and effort you went to, I could not bear the thought that my bottom would disappoint you.
For myself, I was hoping you would not change your mind and keep on going.
At that moment.
You released me. My arms are still sore from pulling so hard at the restraints. You moved the wedge pillow away. You laid me down on the bed and cuddled with me. After a little while, I realized you were speaking to me, saying comforting words that calmed my mind and heart. You made me feel secure again, and precious somehow. And I was engulfed with the emotional whirlwind inside me. I may have been silent, but only because of the echoes in my ears, louder than a hurricane, and because of the shockwaves blasting around mercilessly like a recording of your torture replaying and overlapping inside my overwhelmed being.
I think we talked. I think you asked me something. I think I answered. But I couldn't tell you any of it. The memory of this is wiped out by the seeping, overflowing memory of the agony of the spanking itself.
I remember being calmer. I remember you saying I was shaking and I hadn't noticed it. I remember you holding me.
The spanking is over and this is our initial conversation about the experience. Don't miss Satia's comment about having fun . . .
I’m afraid I have some bad news for you
<What’s that?
Your bottom’s all used up
<OK
<OK
You were very brave
<[inaudible]
Just when you were starting to have fun?
<I was having fun from the beginning.
Oh good
<But that really hurt.
Did I hurt you as much as you were hoping to be hurt?
<yeah
Even a little bit more?
<It was faster than I expected
Faster in what way?
Sooner, I mean?
You hurt more sooner? Well, that’s the whole point is to hurt you more in the beginning, while you can enjoy the shock of it. I tried to hurt you as best I could.
<Are you disappointed?
Of course not. You’re entitled to have a flesh bottom, a flesh and blood bottom.
No, no, I think this is . . . this is quite awesome. I have never punished anybody harder than I punished you.
<Really?
Yeah
<Ow! Ow! [I am probably squeezing her bottom here]
I punished Janet real hard, too, but not harder than this, just about like this. She had a tougher bottom, so she could last longer.
Your bottom has really sacrificed for you, when you take a look at it you'll see what I mean.
[inaudible]
Now you know why I was laughing about you wanting, being so annoyed about only getting an hour of this
When I said something like “you just don’t know” in that condescending way I have that drives you crazy sometimes.
<No…
It drove you crazy that time
I’m going to need to put something on the part of your bottom that’s oozing. There’s an area about 3x5 centimeters on your right cheek, where the tip of the strap . . . where the skin is mostly gone
It's all over. She's untied, off the wedge, with a bandage over the spot that is oozing. Note the digital sound recorder at top left.
You look adorable like this
I gave you my best effort
<hmm
What are you laughing at?
<I didn’t say it, but I really didn’t think I was going to survive
When it was hurting you mean? I’m not surprised. I don’t know how you did, really. So it hurt that much?
<Yeah
I should hope so. I was using the big strap as hard as I could . . .