You then pulled down my latex panties. I thought perhaps you were checking the state of my poor, tortured ass -- that you might have pity and stop. But your plan was otherwise. You said, for the rest of the caning, you are going to be bare. I couldn't believe it. I protested, but I knew that would get me nowhere. I asked, again, how many more. Can you at least tell me how many more? And you said, four. Four sets, one set from both sides with the thin bamboo, one set with the lexan, and then we'll repeat that. That will make four. That was more that I could stand to hear. And the whippy sting of the lexan was on my naked flesh was more than I could bear. I felt as if someone had slashed me with a knife, each stroke seeming to draw more blood from the wound. Of course, this was only as my imagination saw it, and I know I sobbed more, cried out more, thrashed more against my restraints.
You switched to the thin bamboo, and I hoped for a respite from the knife-caning, but there was none. I think it was at this point that something in my body just gave up the fight. I had nothing left to fight with. I was emotionally, physically, and mentally spent. I had never been in this place before -- accepting that, no matter how much I begged, pleaded, cried, screamed, you simply would not stop until you were ready. So I just lay there, on the bed, and sobbed. You continued with the caning, and it hurt, as much as before. I registered every sharp, biting blow, but my surrender to the pain and to you was total. And somehow in that moment of surrender, I was aware of another feeling -- not as acute or angular as pain, but a soft underscore accompanying it. And that was a sense of pleasure, pure, deep and undeniable.
When you were done, you untied me quickly. I was happy for that. I wanted to be held, to be comforted by you, and you are as gifted as giving comfort as you are at inflicting pain. I felt close to you and warmed by your touch once again. I was still in great pain, barely able to move, but euphoria was setting in. I felt immediately grateful to you -- for the pain, for taking me as far as I had ever gone, for not being dissuaded by my tears, cries, screams, pleas, for the intimacy, for the pleasure threading through it all.
I don't understand my body's unusual relationship of pain to pleasure. But I thank you, and Sarah, for helping me to know it, to explore it, and expand upon it. You are the most treasured gifts in my life.
Trish