How quickly my regret increased! You began paddling me, Sarah, and it took very little time at all for me to cross from my own awareness and absorption of it all, from my participation and joining the experience, from any remaining imp that existed,… far, far into the territory of the tortured. How quickly you can hear my voice reflect my panic – you can nearly hear the moment I “change my mind”…
I said, “No”, without even realizing I’d reached that point.
You said a simple, powerful, but calm, “Yes,” that brooked no doubt – no matter what I said or did now, you were in control, and I would not be done until you said it was over.