As Doc made it clear that the time was fast approaching for his 'special event', all my pent-up nervousness started to flow from its cage inside of me like a torrent of rain through a hole in the roof. And once it started to come, there was no stopping the rush. Soon, I found myself pacing the living room, knowing the entire group of party-goers awaited what amounted to a public punishment at my expense!
How did this make me feel? It's hard to say. I was excited -- mostly because I adore life and the experiences it brings that stretch and surge and steam and spark... I was mortified -- until this year, my spankings have been nearly all private affairs, and my idea of public scrutiny was heretofore limited to singing in church, or training for work.
What made it so much worse -- or better, depending on the viewpoint -- was knowing Doc. This would be no simple spanking. He drives through any walls of disbelief or fortitude. And if he cannot do it with mere spanking alone, he will find another avenue -- all within the safety of predefined limits.
... and since I have very few predefined limits, I knew I was in for something that earned its right to frighten me.
I expected Doc or Sarah to come for me, but I did not expect Randy and Texas Jack to seek me out first. How could I run from these two adorable men?
... Well, if they'd given me another moment, I would have found out... <wicked giggle>
But then Doc came to guide me back to the master bedroom, and to the waiting group. The atmosphere smoldered; the tension and expectation was palpable. Walking to the bed, I felt like an object of an inquisition... with torture on the way!
Doc went over my safewords with me -- which I teased about at first. We have an old discussion and debate about the use of safewords between us, and I enjoyed playing it out. But I also knew that if he had anything serious planned for me, the folks there as witness needed to be assured of my own desires and of the knowledge that, for this affair, I had safewords in place. Always, I am truly safe, but here and now, yes, I had a safeword. Yes, I had an escape if I truly needed it.
And yes, Doc would have honored it instantaneously, had I uttered it. That is the point, and one that deserves honoring at these parties.
Over the dreaded wedge, the foam of frenzy, the torture triangle, the prop of punishment. Skirt up, panties down... or were they? Knowing Sarah's choice in clothing, my panties were hardly enough to cover the suggestion of modesty, let alone the real thing, anyway! :)
And Doc asked for volunteers, first to be at my hands in case I needed holding... oh, just the thought again makes me shudder! Smartypanties and Moonrouge came to my "aid"... if it can be called that. Smartypanties attempted to assure me that she would help me escape if I needed it, though she later admitted that since Moonrouge would have had her hide instead of mine, the pain would be all mine this time... oh, I owe her for that traitorous act... <giggle> What are spanking comrades for? ;)
Then, volunteers with paddles. Midnightspanker, the epitome of a helping hand, always there to provide support or organization or information or... pain.... And Jack – Texas Jack!!!? The Jack I just a short week prior had myself enjoyed spanking at the Sanctuary, in several positions, over several benches, with several implements? Jack, who at that moment approached with the most wonderful glint in his eye, reminding me of that long and arduous journey of agony I'd taken him on, weighing the paddle in his hand as though he could judge how quickly he'd make me pay in full...
I made some mouthy comment, but felt myself shiver in fun and anticipation... oh dear....
Doc said the setting would be like an initiation to a frat house in college -- I wanted to point out that I went to community college and therefore could not attest to this scene... but I didn't think that would save me. I wanted to point out that those holding the paddles at that moment seemed like very odd sorority sisters to me... but didn't have much chance to be impish before they began swinging!
The two spankers eased in, as though afraid to strike me hard -- but warmed up very quickly, as did my poor bottom!!! It was fast apparent that I was going to be hurting and soon! They seemed to egg each other on, with each blow getting harder and deeper...
But altogether too soon, they stopped and mentioned my skin was already in trouble.
This was not too surprising -- I had spent the week prior in some very serious sessions with both Doc and Sarah, separately and together. The last one with Doc had me bleeding even through my jeans -- and being a responsible medical man, this made Doc feel very protective of my thin skin and the possible damage further abuse might cause. Had I come straight to the party from L.A., the night would have lasted much longer.
And admittedly, with the realization that the punishment was already over, came a keen disappointment -- after all, this was built up for us all as a special event, and here I'd disappointed a whole group of eager individuals -- people who had stayed purposefully to see what I could not now provide. Yes, I'd escaped a public torment and started to feel a little too smug about that (being the good brat I truly am)... but the undercurrent of guilt and a bit of shame was more prominent, and I stayed over the wedge to hide my eyes.
But Doc had other plans. I should have known. I should have guessed.
I should have run. <giggle>
He asked for more volunteers, and instructed them to pull apart my legs. At that moment, I knew... and I did want to escape! I've felt this before, and it has even the die-hard masochist inside of me wondering if she should convert to vanilla for a while!!! ;)
And he straddled me, all power and design and as unyielding as ever... as I adore. And he spanked me deep inside my bottom and further places... spanked by hand, but hard, hard! I was squirming and whining like the most surprised of punished girls! Wow, that hurts. That really hurts like something sharp and deep and incredible!
After some time of this beautiful misery, he stopped. And I giggled. Foolish girl.
When Doc shifted and I realized that he was positioning himself above me again, the warning bells began going off inside of my mind. When I heard the smooth, svelte swish of the belt, and the metallic clink of its buckle, I panicked. And when I heard Sarah exclaim from behind me that I was in real trouble now.... I did try to move back and out of the way! But to no avail! Why was it that all these people, who should have been feeling terribly sorry for poor, self-pitying me, were instead keeping me in position for what was obviously going to be a fierce and furious pain?
Wicked people. Bad, bad, bad. Glorious and wise and lovely people.... I thank you all! :)
Then the volunteers were told to spread my bottom cheeks -- oh I was mortified!!! What a private intrusion and a personal place for public punishment! I feared that everyone would be offended at the personal nature of this punishment. But then I felt the volunteers actually do as instructed, and I then feared instead only that nasty belt!!!
As well I should have. What a searing pain! Stripes of heat and suffering, right where those sensations do not belong!! To be spanked with a belt there is indeed, as I mentioned to Doc later, an outrage of the flesh. There is an incredulity to this type of experience -- the intimacy of this pain is like adding insult to injury. Those parts of the body are made for pleasure! To bring pain there... this, this is like breaking the rules, tearing through the boundaries and storming the bastions. It simply doesn't belong there!
Which of course, only makes it that much more personal and painful and inescapable... and marvelous. At the time, I simply wondered who I was and what I'd done with my own sanity!? That was not fun or pleasurable or nice or good... I didn't want this kind of agony!! I tried to grit my teeth and bear it -- but as Smartypanties and Moonrouge could surely tell by my expression and by the way I gripped that wicked wedge for dear life, there was no bearing that pain!! I could not prevent my squirming, or my exclamations of agony!
Oh, that hurt so badly. By the time it was finally done, I was shivering physically and embarrassed to look up for fear that everyone could see directly through to the bottom of my being... I felt so exposed and the pain had lain me so bare. I stood quickly, the sizzling ache and jagged nerve-endings all down in the most private places of my body were in mutiny, and raging for it.
Of course, Sarah made me sit back down anyway. ;) I smiled and groaned and shivered and gave some smart comments, enjoying this misery immensely!
Doc and Sarah sat down one on each side of me, rubbed my back and comforted me, and although the agony remained strong and lingering like an image burned in your mind's eye from a bright light on a dark day.... I had survived!
Oh that memory still plays inside of me. I think of it often, and am excited and thrilled all over again. What a beautiful torment. What vulnerable exposure, what inescapable, glorious pain!
I thank everyone who joined and watched... though I remain just as mortified (and thrilled) here at my desk back in California as I did in that room! But I greatly appreciated the camaraderie and the play, the passion of the punishment and the enjoyment of the participants. What an amazing group of people!
And my thanks to the volunteers -- you're just lucky I didn't really try to escape.... <wicked giggle>
And my consistent and heartfelt gratitude to Sarah, always there to support and help, even during those moments when when I wish she weren't... Ah, she knows me so well....
And... to Doc... oh, to Doc. Thank you for the incredible experience! I await the next challenge with baited breath -- as long as the option to run still remains close at hand... <giggle> A flight I would only regret if I managed to truly avoid such a wonderful experience, of course. You are our host and our guide into the territories of agony.
What a fantastic night!!
Thank you,
Satia