So back to the start of the physical
discipline with corner time...An interesting thing happened as I stood there.
Her voice changed for a bit into the strict voice I had been waiting for, and as
soon as I gave myself over to it--her voice got gentle again. I wasn't sure what
to do so I kept nodding my head in answer to the questions she asked from time
to time. Then she said (more firmly again) that she expected respect to be shown
by a proper verbal, "Yes ma'am" throughout the session. And when I did that, she
seemed to get gentle again.
I'm not sure how long I was in the corner, I could have stayed a long time--I
felt so cared for by her willingness to help me understand why I was there and
standing right behind me with her words and voice so close to my ears.
Then she called me over to her chair, she grasped the waist of my capri pants
and brought them down. She directed me to lay myself across a high pillow on the
couch. She placed her hand on my bottom and started spanking me over my undies.
It was more rhythmic and paced than I expected from her description--but very
thorough--exactly as I had expected in that way. It did not seem long at all,
and I did not feel that much stinging by the time she pulled my knickers down.
She then continued and asked me questions from time to time as she was spanking,
especially what was I feeling. She told me that she was hoping for feedback
beyond that I was feeling the pain of the spanking, that she hoped that I would
make a connection with what we had talked about and the current sensation in my
backside--that I was not to fight it.
I'm afraid my instinct from childhood was taking over and I chose to grit my
teeth and bear down without receiving the meaning of what she was trying to
convey. She talked about my teenage escapades and how I was responsible for
putting myself in danger--but not for what happened to my younger sisters at
home while I was out. She kept spanking, asking if I understood this and I
answered affirmatively with a "Yes ma'am" as clearly as I could every time.
After some timeless moments of spanking, she stopped momentarily and began to
speak to me about road rage (another of my faults).