I've been fortunate enough to be spanked by some truly remarkable women (yes, the "male" in "female spanks male" on this web site is so far just me, with the exception of Jack's spanking in one of the party descriptions: Theresa and Sarah Spank Jack).
Most of these are intense. Just because I often prefer to experience intense punishments doesn't mean that's right for anyone else. Each person should pick the kind, intensity, and duration of spanking he or she prefers. There's no right or wrong about this, only matters of taste.
There are links to specific spankings at the bottom; but I have some thoughts here about the self-image of male tops, bottoms, and switches if you are interested.
Trish visits Sarah and me from time to time (her description of a caning is here at Trish Caning). In the summer of 2007, she wrote to me along these lines: “I know you're a switch, yet you often talk as though you're a top. Why? A switch is more interesting than a top.”
The main reason, as I wrote Trish then, is that in many people's eyes, being a top is masculine; being a bottom or switch is not. I harbor some of this feeling myself even though I know it is absurd. It connects being an assertive top with being masculine along those old stereotypical lines. Absurd, yes, but real in my gut. My letter to Trish continued,
On bondage.com, I initially presented myself purely as a top. Then one fine day I was in search of a top myself, and while it's possible for male tops to ask female tops to spank them (it happens regularly, in fact), there was a bit of dissonance there. So that is when I changed my official online persona from top to switch. But on bondage.com, and on my web site, my top side has always been much more conspicuous.
This isn't all because of my switch-anoia. The web site features what I find most erotic. I derive no pleasure from listening to other men get whacked (although I do like looking at, and hearing from, female tops). Also, I get far more pleasure listening to the sound files of me spanking someone else than of me getting spanked. I enjoy both, but the former is to me more powerful.
So I was mulling all of this over and along came the June Palm House party. Sarah asked me if I were going to be a switch or a top, and I told her, switch. Once the party got going, along came my old top A., and of course in her eyes I am a bottom, and our mutual friend Moonrouge, who sees me as a switch, so the switch label was congruent with my friends' perceptions. ... And of course I initially only bottomed to Sarah, although some people seem to believe that I sometimes spank her now.
It was funny at the party, with my switch label ... This male myth of the macho top runs so deep I felt like less of a host as a switch than I would be as a top. I'm sure this sounds complete nonsense to you, because it sounds that way to me, but we are talking about feelings, not realities, here. In reality I was doing fine as a host.
I did a fair amount of spanking at the party. But after a while, Satia wanted to spank ME. You'll read in the web site my account of this. I will say that I was very much NOT interested in being spanked in front of everybody if I could help it. As it turned out there was quite an audience anyway. But when the spanking got rolling, I didn't really mind being in the public eye. In fact, I got something of a thrill out of being on display. Afterward I was in no rush to put my pants back on, so the exhibitionist in me was having fun and didn't care about whether I looked like a top or a bottom. I felt vigorous and I had just taken a spanking that had the audience not only impressed but audibly gasping (although they were not gasping as loudly as I was!).
Being a switch has numerous advantages. An obvious one is that I can potentially play with any woman at a party. More important, of course, is that I've experienced a wide spectrum of masochistic delights. If I had to live purely as a top or as a bottom, I don't know which I would choose; but the choice would be very difficult and I might well choose to be a bottom. The sensations are more intense when I am being punished than when I am topping (this is not everyone's experience, just my own.
There is another argument for being more up front about my switchiness, which is that honest disclosure requires it. Without honesty my web site would be nothing, so that's a potent argument. And your point that being a switch makes me in some way more interesting or more complex . . . I understand that argument in a theoretical sort of way, but I can't appreciate it in my gut. Nonetheless, you said it, and I put a lot of stock in your opinions.
I have a scene on bondage.com--I think it's still up--about Elizabeth paddling me. I have converted it to the web site format but never posted it.
Thank you for raising this topic. I’m going to go ahead and be more open about my switchiness. And one of these days, when time permits, I’ll post some of the memorable spankings I’ve received at the hands of some wonderful women.
Best,
Doc
I am planning on including four spankings in this category, rolling them out as I finish them.
J- : severe
Elizabeth: moderate plus, but playful
Sarah: severe
steph: severe
I'm laughing looking at this list, it seems I do a lot of suffering! And actually, with women whom I do not see frequently, when we do meet the sessions tend to be intense. But Sarah spanks me, at least a little and sometimes much more, about once a week, and those spankings are often playful. Once I've got these four spankings posted, I'll add one or two more playful spankings just to lighten up this section.