Here is how I described what to expect at the first party Sarah and I gave. Our parties are evolving over time, and other parties will no doubt have some differences, but this will give you a good general idea. If you want to learn a lot more about what happens at a typical party, check out the links to the parties we've held, and especially to August 3, 2007 . You can also hear a few minutes from that party in the files under Satias Initiation.
What to expect . . .
This is a NORMAL party with all the normal social expectations about being polite and considerate, with spanking added on top. Please read the rules very carefully; they tell you just where you can let your libido run wild, and where you need to keep it in check. The rules explain what is required and prohibited, but I'm going to flesh out what the actual experience will be like in this section.
If you come at the beginning it will be exactly like any other party. People are striking up conversations, drinking soda and eating snacks. The topics of conversation will include sports, children, work, politics . . . the usual. Some people will know each other, but because this is our first spanking party, and because we are inviting people from this web site as well as from two groups, most people will be new to each other. You will think that Sarah, the hostess, has known everyone for years, but that's just the wonderful way she is.
It's like any other party in that everyone has a name tag; except here, everyone's name tag has an extra label affixed to it, "Top," "Bottom," "Switch," or "Observer." Let's assume this is your first spanking party and you want to get a sense of the lay of the land before you dive in any deeper. The green "observer" tag is your safe pass; put it on your name badge.
Some, but not all, of the people will be wearing all leather, or all latex, or something very see-through. I will be in my fetish wear (shirt & tie). Others will be in casual clothes.
Before too long, someone (let's assume it's a man) will pull a chair away from the wall and invite someone else over his lap. He will probably flip up her skirt and then he'll start spanking. Perhaps they are an established couple and he spanks her every day. Perhaps they met a few minutes ago and, after some preliminary talk, the idea appeals to them both. It is never appropriate to attempt to spank someone without her explicit permission . . . social skills count! After her spanking, she'll get off his lap, smooth her skirt down, and give him a thank-you hug.
It's fine to watch a spanking, but there's a difference between watching and leering; try to stay on the right side of that line. While you're watching, stay an appropriate distance away, don't comment on what is happening (that interferes), and leave the people alone until after the spanking *and* the aftercare are over.
You'll also see women spanking men and women spanking women.
Most party spankings are not severe. There is a whole evening ahead, so why push your skin to the breaking point in the first spanking? Of course, sometimes the two people involved will agree on a harder spanking, and that is their prerogative. The idea of the party is to set broad limits on behavior but within those limits to encourage people to enjoy themselves.
If the party has the appropriate gear, you may see someone tied down over a spanking bench or tied to a cross leaning against the wall and spanked, paddled, or whipped. (As of now I do *not* have any of this equipment; if you own something portable and can bring it, I'd be very grateful.)
Some of this can get hairy. If a scene is more than you want to witness, just move to another room. Almost always, these people have played like this before; his relentless whipping and her writhing and violent cursing are the secret to a satisfying scene for them both. It is *normal* for you to be bothered by this sort of activity if you are uncertain if it is really consenting play, and if it bothers you, just leave the room.
If you are not sure if a scene is consenting, or safe, by all means talk with a DM (dungeon monitor); at Sarah and my party they'll be wearing red armbands. And if something is troubling you or you have questions about what's going on, by all means talk to a DM. We want you to understand how this all works.
People won't be having intercourse; but someone may well be holding a vibrator on a woman while she squirms and gasps.
As the party progresses and you get a sense of what's happening, you will feel at home. Go back to the table by the door and check out the other labels (top, bottom, switch) and put one of them on your name tag. You're no longer a newcomer and you will want to join in the fun.